He Can Fly
Warnings: character death
Genre: romance, oneshot
A/N: I cant believe I did a character death...T_T i feel so bad now...
Summary: When there's nothing left to do, all you can really do is just spread your wings and fly...
He Can Fly
“Junsu-ah, do you need me to get you anything?” Jaejoong asked gently, pushing back Junsu’s damp hair away from his burning forehead. The others had situated around the room wearing protection masks.
Junsu just shook his head once, turning his head away.
“Nah, I’m fine.” Junsu whispered out. He’d been getting worse by the minute. Junsu refused to see a doctor even after the member’s persistent nagging. Changmin had to move out of the room they shared to bunk with Yunho for the time being. It had gotten to the point where all Junsu could do was push himself up to eat his meals. But even after the minutes of getting himself up, he’d just realize that he wasn’t hungry anymore and would sink back under the covers.
But he also hated having to be so dependant on his members. All he could think of was of how much he was burdening his group. So far, DBSK has had to call off 3 interviews, one stage performance, and two game shows. Their next tour to
So that’s why Junsu can only think about taking medicine pills and sleeping off his sickness. And in the back of his head, Junsu knows that as their tour date comes closer, he’ll start to consider going to the hospital.
But one night after Yoochun had tucked him in and was just about to leave, Junsu called out to him. Kneeling against the bed, Yoochun asked what was wrong while repositioning the damp towel on Junsu’s face.
“What is it Junsu?”
Junsu’s chest has been constricting tightly for the past few days already. But Junsu couldn’t take the pain any longer and just had to tell someone.
“My chest…hurts so bad…Chunnie…like I can’t breath.” Junsu labored out his works before falling unconscious.
Yoochun began to panic, not knowing Junsu had passed out or if he had fallen asleep. Deciding not to take any chances, he began running through their apartment, yelling fort he others to wake up. As soon as the others heard Junsu’s name being spoken, they immediately sprinted.
Stumbling into their shoes, they ran out to the parking lot with Junsu safely tucked into the arms of Yoochun. The next 20 minute drive to the hospital was spent in silence as they all stared out into darkness rushing past them.
They had the baby of their team sprawled on three of their laps: Junsu’s head on Yoochun’s, body on Jaejoong’s, and legs of Yunho’s. The gentle hum of the car was mixed with the other background sounds of Yunho speaking quietly to their manager.
As soon as they arrived at the emergency entrance, they barged through the doors, getting Junsu situated on a trolley and whisked away.
Then the four of them just stood in the long hallway, hands limp, faces expressionless.
Once they were able to visit him, Yoochun was the only one that didn’t. Instead, he waited until all of the members went downstairs for breakfast before he slowly stepped in. God, it was such a sight. If seen from afar, Junsu wouldn’t even look real. His pale smooth skin had gotten even more pale, his cute rose cheeks had sunken in and there was a fogged up oxygen mask over his chapped lips. The only thing making Yoochun believe he was still here was the steady rise and fall of his chest.
Wavering a bit, Yoochun sat down as close to the bed as he could and held Junsu’s hand, stroking his thumb across his knuckles. Then he started thinking of all those opportunities. Maybe now in this situation it was the only time Yoochun had really started to think.
‘I should’ve told him when I had a chance.’
‘What if I don’t get a chance to tell him my feelings?’
‘Damn it! I’m such an idiot for taking him for granted.’
And with that, Yoochun broke down, hiding his face against the hand of Junsu’s. They were bitter tears. Tears of regret. Remorse. Sorrow. Love.
And even after the tears had stopped flowing, he remained in that position, praying silently for Junsu to get better.
What if he never did?
Pushing that thought away, Yoochun leaned back into his chair and stared at his sleeping partner.
Then, startling from his daze, a voice broke out quietly.
“You know…the doctor says that his sleeping drug will wear off in the early morning…”
Yoochun didn’t turn around to know that it was Changmin.
“Mmhm…and this was just a random thought…but isn’t tomorrow Wish Day?”
Yoochun’s eyebrows frowned at that.
“December 5…7, 9…12…yea…what’s your point?” Yoochun turned his head around to see Changmin in the exact position he had imagined him to be in: Leaning against the doorway with his arms crossed.
“I’m just saying…it’s a perfect day to grant someone’s wish.” And with that, Changmin stepped away and slipped out. Yoochun thought that was a weird exchange of words. Thinking on it for a while, he gave up and continued with his previous thoughts.
It was 4 AM when Yoochun finally clicked. Maybe it was in a dream or subconscious thought, but his eyes just snapped open. Looking about, he found the others sprawled about the room. Then, his eyes fell upon the last member. Bending down a bit, he gently shook him. A few shakes and a grunt later, Junsu’s eyes opened weakly.
“Hey”, Yoochun said softly, “I’ll take you to a place where you can fly.”
Junsu nodded once before slipping back into slumber.
Tugging on his jacket, Yoochun pre-wrapped Junsu in two thick blankets before carrying him lovingly through the empty and cold hospital. Stowing Junsu away safely in the passenger seat, Yoochun began the slow drive up to their destination.
After a few bumpy milestones and extra boosts, Yoochun parked his car right at the entrance. The path was blocked off for cars the rest of the way up. The last several kilometers had to be traveled by foot.
So that’s just what Yoochun did. With Junsu hanging on weakly to his back, Yoochun climbed the steep hill before reaching the top. Setting him down, he supported most of Junsu’s weight, turning them both towards the East. It felt like you were in heaven on top of that mountain. The cool morning wind whipped across their faces as the subtle glow of the morning sun was cast upon them.
Slipping an arm around Junsu’s waist, Yoochun rested his chin on Junsu’s shoulder.
“Wait for the perfect moment.” Yoochun murmured. Junsu had his eyes closed to the wind, leaning back into Yoochun’s warm touch. There, just as the sun peaked from behind the landscape, a fresh gust of strong wind blew. It streaked around and up towards them, swirling around and against their faces until gusting right at their legs.
And for a moment, it almost felt as if you were flying. Junsu could feel it. And he smiled.
“…I’m flying Yoochun…” He whispered hoarsely. Yoochun’s eyes struck tears at Junsu’s free-spirited heart.
“Yea Junsu, you’re flying-just like an angel.” He laughed softly and hugged Junsu even tighter. Then when the wind quieted down and the sun was out, they lay down on the grass together with Junsu curled into Yoochun’s taller frame.
Stroking his hair, Yoochun looked up at the sky.
“You know…we have to get you back to the hospital…” Yoochun trailed off.
“Mm…maybe later. I want to enjoy this for now.” Yoochun nodded and knew that Junsu could feel it. But he also wondered if Junsu could hear the rapid stumbling of his heart in his chest.
On the entire way back, they talked on endlessly when Junsu had the strength to. It was a refreshing chat since the week Junsu had fallen ill and didn’t have the energy to hold a conversation. With the wind flowing freely from the moon roof and windows, they even shouted into the passing air. And all the while, Yoochun didn’t let go of Junsu’s hand once.
20 years later
A lone man drove up in his car a 4 AM. Stopping at the entrance, he hopped the tall wooden gate, landing soundlessly on the other side. Looking around at his surroundings, he continued slowly up the path.
The old Sakura tree still lay there. The tall grass still grew there. And the morning sun still rose there. Hands in his pocket, he closed his eyes and waited.
He waited just until the sun peaked over the landscape. Waited just until the gust of wind blew around him, circling his torso and lifting up his feet. Then hesitantly taking his hands out of his pockets, he spread his arms out wide.
“…I’m flying Junsu…I’m flying…” He whispered up into the air. And for a second, he could feel his lover’s warm touch, signature laughter and memorable kisses. And ever year on this specific day, he drives down from wherever he is just to reach this place. Just to feel Junsu’s touch again. Just one more time. To remember as if it happened yesterday, their last night together.
“Hm?...” His voice was groggy with sleep.
“Did you know?” Junsu’s face was buried into his lover’s chest.
“…Hm?” Yoochun’s eyes were still closed, arms embracing Junsu securely.
“Did I know what Junsu-ah?” Yoochun asked after Junsu didn’t reply.
“…Did you know that…I love you?” Junsu’s face heated up. Yoochun could feel it. Twisting his leg over Junsu’s, he looked adown at him, kissing his forehead.
“Why not you show me?” Yoochun smiled suggestively. Blinking a few times, Junsu finally caught on and smiled.
“With pleasure.” And with that, he grasped the front of Yoochun’s shirt and pulled him in roughly until their lips met. It wasn’t rough and passionate like the others. No, this one was slow and heart felt and painful. Because they both knew it might be their last. Pulling away, Yoochun breathed out heavily.
“I love you too Junsu. I love you so much.” He said softly, kissing Junsu’s hair.
Tears slipped down his pale peach skin at their last treasured memory.
Yea, the pain never went away. But it did get better. He had shared thousands of beautiful memories with Junsu. And what he had with Junsu was something special and precious. He had everything right there in his heart.
And that would keep him living on.
Just for his Kim Junsu.